Page 11 - Issue 20

sure that, at least on my watch, they don’t harm
themselves as a result.
I showed my dad a rough draft of the first part of this
story. He replied: “I freely acknowledge that I yelled
at you excessively. I wish I had better self control. I
especially regret if I caused any lasting damage. I
think I consciously tried to balance that behavior
with cheerfulness at doing things with you. You will be
the judge as to the overall result.”

It takes a lot of guts to face your mistakes as a parent
and I don’t begrudge my father for his missteps. As a
parent he loved me, and he did his best to care for me
and give me the best opportunities to develop. He
sometimes also passed on his faults, and his pain.

As an educator, I know I will make mistakes. I know
that my chanichimot may remember my worst moments
vividly, and I can only hope that they will also
remember some of my best. Yet, as someone who chooses to
be a madrich, I demand of myself to always strive to do
the right thing. I believe that being chanichimot in
the movement, with me, is good for them and the fact
that they continue to come to peulot is a testament to
that. And to protect their lives and to make sure that
they can continue to grow and develop, I must protect
them and the ken from harm, not eliminating any tool
from my toolbox when it comes to this task.
Nonetheless, some tools can have an impact that goes
far beyond the scope of the problem they seek to
address, and thus they must be used judiciously.

On my next evaluation, I hope my chanichimot will
write, “Lonny only yells when it is necessary”.