By Anton Marks, HDUK Boger, Tzevet Iton, member of Kibbutz Mishol in Nof HaGalil

Last night was the first time I've left the building since Shabbat. The furthest I'd been until then was to empty the bin.

I spent Saturday and Sunday glued to the news, and have since eased off a little since it's not been good for my health.

I can't really put into words the catastrophe that has befallen my people and my country - it's beyond comprehension - the world, my world, will never be the same again.

I'm truly touched by the many people that have reached out to check in on me. It's hard to convey much more than "I'm safe, for now, but not ok.” 

Israel is in a state of trauma. Unfathomable trauma.

The Jewish people are no strangers to trauma, but that doesn't ease the pain, fear, helplessness, shock, distress, sense of loss, anger, shame and disgust that pretty much everyone is experiencing right now.

More Jews were murdered on Saturday than on any day since the Holocaust. Nazism and the horrors of the Holocaust challenged our faith in humankind. In the face of such atrocities, could we still believe that humans are intrinsically good?

Eighty years have passed since those dark days. With trepidation, we as a people have tried to come to terms with the trauma of the past, wanting to believe that Nazism was an anomaly, unrepeatable, but always knowing, somewhere, deep down, that Jews being brutally massacred en mass in cold blood could be just around the corner. We're a people of inner contradictions. For 80 years we've been repeating the mantra of Never Again, whilst our collective memory whispers to us that the opposite will happen.

I want to believe that we'll get through this, that we'll prevail over the forces of evil and darkness. I want to believe that there'll be peace, that we can put this catastrophe behind us and get on with our lives.

But in this moment, the moment where my world has been turned upside down, this moment before I rediscover my energy, determination, passion and desire to get back to working to make this place a little bit better for all - alongside my partners - I want to be honest and say that this is where I am at, and these are the questions that I'm asking.

Since I've already made the connection, I want to take inspiration from Anne Frank, who despite the horrors she experienced, still believed in humankind.